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The Tricky Thing About Grief

Yesterday I had a procedure to have glass removed from my big toe. Glass mind you, that had been in there since two in a half months ago.


When I got the Xray last week that revealed I had three glass particles in my toe that would have to be pulled out, I was like I absolutely don't have time for this.


So the next day I went to my physical trainer, got dressed that night for dancing at a gala, and went to Chicago for the weekend to visit my friends. 


After all, the glass toe that had allowed me to work with a trainer five days a week (for weeks) prior, carried me on two in a half mile walks frequently, and seemed to be completely content compressed in shoes - at times for hours, was fine.


Until by the time I got off the train, I could barely walk. I was in so much pain that the Wednesday appointment I made I attempted to move up to Monday which was unfortunately an epic failure.


As I sat on the table yesterday and the doctor explained to me what the procedure would entail I started to cry. I knew the pain was going to feel unbearable, but I also knew this was the first time I was having a semi-serious medical procedure where I was completely and utterly alone.


The tears that started to flow was partially about the pain I knew I was going to feel, but it was also grief for not having someone by my side. 


The last time I had something like this happen my ex husband and I were dating and I was having a bunion removed. The pain from the anesthesia that day more than twenty five years ago, was the same pain I felt yesterday, resulting in screaming and a series of curse words.


That's the thing about grief. It will swoop in when you least expect it.


I allowed myself to feel sadness, anger, and disbelief about how my life had landed here. And today I woke up with renewed energy to start again.


I feel more hopeful than ever that my person, the one who will be by my side in the moments of unspeakable pain is coming, and in the meantime, I will honor whatever comes my way as I prepare for them. My hope is if you can relate, you will do the same.


Let us help you on your grief journey so you have exactly what you need to keep ebbing and flowing through however grief decides to show up. Click here to schedule a consultation anytime. And of course keep subscribe to our mailing list here to see what future support we have in store.

Let's roll with unexpected grief,

Demarra West


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